A Beautiful Nigerian Journalist, who is known for series of controversial posts, pens down a heart touching note to Nigerian Ladies who feel the need to urgently get married as a result of peer pressure from friends and family.
She wrote on her Facebook page;
“Diary of a single Naija woman
Singleness for women beyond the age considered conventional for marriage is regarded as a misnomer in Nigeria. Such women are pitied and blamed for their status. Often the blame is based on assumed personal character defect of the women. Being single is like an illness or a curse in Nigeria. You hear irritating questions like: “when are you getting married? Are you in a serious relationship? Hope we are coming to drink palm wine soon. Eeyaa, it is well ooh. will she ever get married again? Interestingly, these questions usually come from those who are managing and struggling hard to sustain their miserable marriages, but still feel pity for the single woman doing well in her career and wise.
A friend of mine, recently, went to speak to her pastor about some challenges she was facing at work. After about 30minutes of speaking with him, she left without discussing her problem. Why? Because the pastor had decided the bigger issue, was her unmarried status and began to pray about that instead. Another friend of mine complained to me about how her married friends completely cut her out of social activities. According to her, the said friend whom they grew up together could not even invite her for the naming ceremony of her child. What was her offence? She is still single.
It’s bad enough that society and family make you feel inferior because you’re single. Once a girl is approaching the age of 25 in Nigeria, her parents will begin to mount pressure on her. The mothers that are Christians will begin to abandon their regular churches for more ‘fire catching’ ones like MFM or RCCG, Synagogue, and the likes! They begin to fast and pray over their 25 year old like she has been diagnosed with some kind of incurable disease, her only offense being that she is still in her father’s house.
God help a lady in her mid 30s yet to ‘settle down’, there is the likelihood that even the older men that come for her have it at the back of their minds that there must be something wrong with her. Are you upset with the men who think this way? Don’t be! It is the society in which we live.
God save your soul if you are still single at 40, once you complain about headache, BP they will say you are thinking too much about husband. Funny huh!
If you’re in this kind of situation and not finding these nasty comments funny, don’t let it affect you. If you think people will stop harassing you with nasty comments when you get married, you are just deceiving yourself. This is because the people who want to put you down will always find a way to do so even after you get married and have kids.
Accepting being single is a big step in accepting who you are and giving yourself room to enjoy life and all it holds, instead of constantly concentrating on what’s missing. Most guys can spot a woman fishing for a proposal a mile away and will use that as a tool to play you as they see fit. But when you are a confident woman, who is about her business, you wouldn’t have time for any time wasters and only the truly serious men will be able to get your attention. The sooner everyone admits that there is more to life than being married, the sooner we single ladies can have some peace. We will all get married at some point, but in the meantime there are other things to get on with. There are places to visit, new people to meet, promotions to fill and money to be made! So please, the next time the urge takes you to pray about my single status, kindly include my need for a bigger account balance in such prayers.